You're in a mall when the zombies attack

MISC CULTURE General Culture & Gossip
1

Totally ripping this off from another board, but I’d love to see where the Chewers take this…

You’re in a mall when the zombies attack.

  1. What weapon do you want to have?
  2. What song do you want blaring from the speakers?
  3. Who do you want fighting by your side?

You can pick real or fictional weapons, and if they use ammo, they have a never-ending supply. You can pick living, dead, or fictional people. It’s wide open.

Me, I’d go with:

  1. Lightsaber
  2. “Rebel Rouser” by Duane Eddy
  3. River Tam
2
  1. The Glaive.
  2. “The Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin.
  3. Lemmy.
3
  1. Gears of War Chainsaw Gun
  2. “Angel Of Death” by Slayer
  3. Zombie Bruce Lee
4
  1. Hattori Hanzo Sword
  2. “The HIV Song” by Ween
  3. Beatrix Kiddo
5
  1. Being a fucking Scanner (add to that a katana as a backup)
  2. The Final Countdown by Europe
  3. Ashley J. “Ash” Williams
6

I’ve had a similar discussion with some friends and my conclusion was that you need 2 kinds of weapons. One for long range and another one for short range combat.

  1. Aliens Pulse Rifle (with granades)
  2. Do the Evolution (Pearl Jam)
  3. Blain (predator)
7
  1. The Farsight (Perfect Dark)
  2. No song, just silence.
  3. Morgan Freeman

I would immediately run to the nearest Waldenbooks and lock us in. After that Morgan would read novels to me as I used my weapon to pick off random zombies.

8
  1. Lawnmower
  2. “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC
  3. Living Bruce Lee wielding a pair of nunchakus
9
  1. Chain Gun from Predator
  2. Back in Black
  3. Snake Plissken
10
  1. Ben Linus’ nightstick.
  2. Live Through This (the album)
  3. Beatrix Kiddo (sorry, Jan. Can she bring her sword?)
11

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post 1. Ben Linus’ nightstick. 2. Live Through This (the album) 3. Beatrix Kiddo (sorry, Jan. Can she bring her sword?)

Since you came up with the brilliance of Ben Linus´ nightstick: Yes she can.

12

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13

  1. Proton Pack - Sure, it’s probably not going to be the most effective weapon, but (a) it’s a zombie apocalypse and I’m almost certainly going to die, and (b) I’ve always wanted to shoot one of these bad boys.

  2. The Benny Hill theme song - Because it’ll be awesome when the zombie chase/chasing is joined by lingerie-clad models and bobbies.

  3. Jessica Biel - She looks like a tough broad and would probably be good in a scrap. Also, we’d probably have to procreate in order to ensure the survival of mankind.

14
  1. Sawed off shotgun (sucker for the classics)
  2. “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue
  3. Clive Owen
15

See, now, I think Mattioli is being far more right-headed about this than the rest of us… I may have to think about this & modify my answer later. But I’m keeping Ben’s nightstick. I’m thinking that could crush a whole pile of zombie skull.

16

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post 3. Living Bruce Lee wielding a pair of nunchakus

I’m not risking that motherfucker having another aneurysm while we’re getting strenuous killing done. Undead’s the way to go, here.

17
  1. Desert Eagle
  2. “Misfit Love” by QOTSA
  3. Either Jack Burton or Champ Kind.
18

Stelios, good call on The Immigrant Song. I’ve just always wanted to be in some kind of brawl with Rebel Rouser playing in the background, so I went with it.

19

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post I’m not risking that motherfucker having another aneurysm while we’re getting strenuous killing done. Undead’s the way to go, here.

What if he developed a thirst for human flesh and you were the only snack bar for miles around? Then you’re trying to fend off scores of plain-Jane zombies and one preternaturally skilled fighting machine with whom you’ve developed a close bond prior to his turn to posthumous cannibalism.

Shit. This would make an awesome movie. Someone get Slater in here, now.

20
  1. Weapon: an unlicensed Nuclear Accelerator
  2. Song: ‘On the Loose’ from Saga
  3. Sidekick: R. Lee Ermey