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Tee-hee, more like The Six-Million Calorie Ham.
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| Originally Posted by Sonic Boom View Post I know it’s wrong but that made me laugh. |
When we heard about the accident, we were kind of relieved, as we figured the doctors at the hospital would do something about his weight - he definitely looked thinner when he got back, by about 100 lbs (he was out for like 2 months).
About three or four years ago, for a goof, we put him on one of our largest packing scales, and he topped out at 498 lbs - a quarter ton of fun. He was only 25 then, and we were taking bets as to whether or not he’d live to see 30.
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| Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post Tee-hee, more like The Six-Million Calorie Ham. |
You preceding each of your wordplays with a tee-hee is making me crack up by myself.
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| Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post Seriously, he’s making money, he should hire a trainer and a dietician and get his ass into shape. |
Back when I gave a fuck enough to read his blog, that’s what he was doing. Dear god, he’s not looking healthy.
*pencils “Stalk Jennifer Schwablechrargh” into his notebook*
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| Originally Posted by Jake View Post Back when I gave a fuck enough to read his blog, that’s what he was doing. Dear god, he’s not looking healthy. |
So it’s YOUR fault.
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| *pencils “Stalk Jennifer Schwablechrargh” into his notebook* |
Check under his gunt (or FUPA, or Junk Obscurer).
Is this the kind of stuff you’d like us to cover on the site? Serious question, since this is getting so much more attention than almost any of the news for the past couple of weeks.
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It has been a slow couple of weeks.
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| Originally Posted by Phil View Post We should ask Smith for a ruling. I think gravy’s funnier. And less healthy. |
In and of itself, taffy is a funnier word. Gravy, however, is more befitting the joke. When you think of someone chasing taffy, that someone doesn’t necessarily have to be fat. It might be a little kid. It might be a diabetic having a daydream. It might be a neutered dog with separation anxiety. It might be an autistic kid who needs that piece of taffy because after the first bite it’s shaped like Tennessee and he needs it to complete his “Candy That Looks Like States” diorama. Endless possibilities, really. Not necessarily a fat guy who looks like he just raided Carnie Wilson’s closet.
Gravy, on the other hand, is among the poster children for embodying obesity. Everything about it screams “extra.” Christ, it even looks like actual human fat when it hardens. It’s a gelatinous, nearly perfect metaphor for Kevin Smith’s current gravitational disposition.
Yeah, more bannings and fat people gossip.
I think his weight gain is kind of astonishing, hence the traffic, but that’s no excuse. I can only speak for myself but I tend to read up on a lot of the film interviews after seeing the films, but that’s my weird hang up. I’m super-psyched for the new Bond, but I’ve been staying out of those threads for the same reason. Excited to read the Kaufman interview.
I don’t want to read the Kaufman interview because I’m so in the dark about the film itself that I don’t know if I want to read even mild spoilers about it. I’d like to go in fresh.
And news has been slow. I read them all, but they haven’t been things that I could really add anything of value to. Not that I’m adding anything in this thread…
I feel like we’re still in the lull. The film discussion has always been best around here with films like The Fountain, Children of Men, NCFOM, etc. This being a strike year, we have less of those home run films, and they’re coming later. But, I think Synecdoche, Benjamin Button, and a few other will invigorate film discussion around here again.
papped!
kevin smith out washing himself
Oh my God. I knew Smith was always heavy, but that is ridiculous. I’m surprised he didn’t fall through the floor too.
I wonder if his hot wife is still attracted to him.
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Dunno, did he divorce his first?
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| Originally Posted by Ambler View Post I wonder if his hot wife is still attracted to him. |
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| Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post Did he remarry? |
ETA: “I Saw What You Did”. As in “I see what you did there.”
He married William Castle’s corpse?
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