Favorite Futurama Quotes/Moments

I remember that The Simpsons had a thread like this and I wondered why Futurama did not. It has almost as many golden moments and judging from the avatars around here, it seems to be pretty popular.

So, these are two of mine from Less Than Hero:

Fry: I feel like I’ve been mauled by Jesus!

and

The scene where the New Justice Team is fighting the Zookeeper’s minions, complete with the 60s Batman TV show graphics. Instead of “BAM!” or “POW!” when Bender is hit by a boxing kangaroo, his graphic is “01001001001”

Even after 5 years, that scene still makes me almost tear up in laughter.

didnt we have a futurama appreciation thread earlier?

Anyway, still love this show to death.

One of my all time favorite moments was in “Luck of the Fryish” when Fry and his bro are competing street dancers, and Fry yells to Noticeable F.A.T to “rewind”

So, so many lines, but I think one of my all-time faves is this:

Farnsworth (on the phone): Oh how awful. Did he at least die peacefully? [pause] To shreds you say, tsk tsk tsk. Well, how’s his wife holding up? [pause] To shreds, you say.

I also love in the Bigfoot/human horn episode, Fry leans out of his tent at night and asks Bender if he’s all right. Bender’s head is acting as an electric fly killer.

Bender: Better than these gnats! [He zaps a few more and laughs.] That guy won’t be goin’ home to his kids.

From I Dated A Robot:

Fry: For one brief moment, I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.
Amy: Big deal.
Bender: (annoyed) We all feel like that all the time.

From A Head in the Polls:

Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child, would you seize and consume it?

Nixon: Uh, well ah, the question is, uh, is vague. You don’t say what kind of candy, whether anyone is watching, or uh… (ahem) At any rate, I certainly wouldn’t harm the child. [Truthoscope goes off.]

Bender: Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere… and I thought I saw a two.
Fry: Don’t worry, Bender: there’s no such thing as two.

Fry: C’mon. C’mon. Hey, Leela, how about a kiss for good luck?
[Leela gives him a quick peck on the cheek]
Fry: [disappointed] I meant tongue luck.

[the professor has been “youthisized” to age 53]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, now I’ll need a fake ID to buy ultra-porn.

I’d be surprised if this is a thread that doesn’t already exist. Anyway; I have much love for The Neutrals:

“All I know is that my gut says “maybe”.”

“If I don’t make it, tell my wife… hello.”

Also, re: self-help books;

“It is true what they say: “Women are from Omicron Persei Seven, men are from Omicron Persei Nine.””

The eminently quotable Zapp Brannigan: “I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”

Cubert Farnsworth: Haven’t you ever seen a genius’ wiener before?
Fry: Well, this one time at the park.

“I’ll never forget you, Fry. MEMORY DELETED.”

“Kittens give Morbo gas.”

I’ll be back later with more. This show’s too good.

The Beast With a Billion Backs is still coming out June 24th, right? Do the remaining two movies have dates set for them?

Good news! It’s a suppository!

Race Track Announcer: And the winner is [I forgot the horse’s name], in a quantum finish!
Prof. Farnsworth: No Fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out, dearies. BECAUSE I DON’T WANT ASSPRINTS ON MY NEW DOOR!

From ‘War is the H-Word’

Zapp Branigan: We know nothing of their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also, they told me that you guys look like dorks!
Bender: THEY LOOK LIKE DORKS!!! (Shakes fist)

and:
Branigan: While others were fighting and dying pointlessly, he was lying in a hole , wallowing in a pool of his own cowardice.
Fry: That wasn’t cowardice!

as well as:

Branigan: Soon you will all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of them all.

and don’t forget:

Brainball: The elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced three meters into the air, then he bounced 1.8 meters in the air, then he bounced FOUR meters in the air. Do I make myself clear?!
Kissinger: Mr. Ambassador, our people tell the same story (oy)
Bender: THESE BALLS ARE MAKING ME TESTY!

finally, the New New York Post headline:

WAR OVER!
Balls Thoroughly Licked

Sorry for bogarting that episode.

From “Crimes of the Hot”:
Anchorwoman: I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. GOODNIGHT!

From “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back”:
(Hermes is about to jump off the building)
Bender: Do a flip!

Those two never fail to make me laugh, no matter how many times I see the episode.

“9, 10, a big fat head. The name’s Bender.”

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

“Amy…console the widow Pac-Man.”

“This must have something to do with the secret ingredient!”
“What if the secret ingredient is…people?!”
“Oh, there’s already a soda like that. Soylent Cola.”
“Oh, how is it?”
“It varies from person to person.”

“Please Don-Bot! Look into your hard drive and open your mercy file!”
“File not found.”

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

This is the Futurama equivalent of the “Forget it Marge, its Chinatown” speech. And I love them both.

I don’t remember the name of the episode, but it’s the one with the bizarro bender and the tiara for the beauty pagaent.

Farnsworth: “It’s worth over $50,000.”
Fry: “How much more?”
Farnsworth: “$100,000”

I don’t know why, that little bit of humor always kind of summed up what the show was about. Anytime I tried to explain to someone why they should watch, I quoted that scene. If they didn’t think it was funny, they probably wouldn’t like the show.