Tales From The Crypt

TELEVISION Specific Shows
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An FAQ of sorts.

WHAT IS IT?
An excellent horror anthology show that ran on HBO from 1989 to 1996.

IS ANTHOLOGY ACTUALLY THE WORD YOU WANT TO BE USING?
I think so.

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WONDERFUL THING?
Robert Zemeckis. Walter Hill. Richard Donner. Joel Silver. David Giler. Yeah, that’s right, they got David Giler in on this. Do I have your attention now, motherfucker?

EVERY EPISODE IS BASICALLY A SHORT HORROR FILM, RIGHT? WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE SHORT HORROR FILMS DIRECTED BY A BUNCH OF NOBODIES?
Did you see who’s responsible for this? They don’t let just any Tom, Dick, and Harry Baweja direct an episode. The first season alone has episodes by Donner, Hill and Zemeckis, not to mention Howard Deutch (Pretty in Pink), Tom Holland (Child’s Play) and Mary Lambert (Pet Sematary).

OK, WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE A HORROR FILM DIRECTED BY THE DIRECTOR OF PRETTY IN PINK?
Ok, you got me, “Only Sin Deep” isn’t exactly a great episode, but to be fair, most of the blame lies in the miscasting of Lea Thompson as a street-wise hooker, not the direction.

I DON’T FIND THE CRYPT KEEPER FUNNY.
It’s alright, only 6 year-olds find The Crypt Keeper funny. 6 year-olds who are stupid.

I LEAD A WOMYN’S LIB STUDY GROUP AND I WAS WONDERING IF THIS WAS A GOOD SHOW FOR US TO WATCH TOGETHER AS WE BRAID EACH OTHER’S HAIR.
No, that’s probably not a good idea. Almost every episode is at least mildly sexist, with the moral usually being “the bitch only wanted you for money, she’s going to kill you.”

ARE YOU GOING TO DO DETAILED POSTS ABOUT EVERY EPISODE?
Every episode of the first two seasons, at least. Those are the two I own at the moment.

OH. I’M NOT REALLY A BIG FAN OF YOUR POSTS. YOUR ENTHUSIASM FAR OUTWEIGHS YOUR WRITING ABILITY, MAKING YOU THE MESSAGE BOARD EQUIVALENT OF A SMALL YAPPING DOG.
Oh. Well…oh. Shit. I’m kind of sad now, to tell the truth.

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Was the Morton Downey Jr. episode in the first two seasons? Because that guy was nutty.

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Well, I want to read that. And maybe rent a couple Tales from the Crypt episodes. That Morton one was excellent. I really liked the David Warner and Tim Curry episodes as well.

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I love that Arnold Schwarzenegger of all people directed an episode. Was one of my favorite shows back in the day, but I don’t really remember anything specific about any of the episodes. I always liked the Crypt Keeper character though.

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

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The opening for this show is so great. The visuals, the score – even if the episode that followed wasn’t the strongest, that intro always put you in the right mood.

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Like many anthologies, the episodes of Crypt were pretty hit or miss. However, personal favorites from the show were:

Dig That Cat… He’s Real Gone - Joey Pants has a cat gland implanted in his body and gets nine lives to cheat death. Pantoliano is great in this one and the episode has one of the better twist endings of the series.

The Thing from the Grave - Miguel Ferrer. Teri Hatcher. A pissed off zombie. Written and directed by Fred Dekker.

Television Terror - Considering this episode had Morton Downey, Jr. as the lead, I’m still surprised at how well it turned out.

Strung Along - I’m a sucker for creepy dolls or puppets and Kevin Yagher, who created the Crypt Keeper puppet for the series, does a good job directing this one. Plus, it has Donald “Singin’ in the Rain” O’Connor in it.

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i always thought this show was far better than people gave it credit for or was expecting. For what it was which was a pulpy horror anthology a lot of the episodes were surprisingly well-written and directed with major talent. Yes there were misses as with any anthology but when it was great it was rally great.

Also i will always defend Demon Night which I love. Bordello of Blood not so much but I love Demon Night.

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by the way this is a great idea

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We never had HBO for long periods of time, but this was one of those shows I loved as a kid. I look forward to your reviews. Is it sad to say that Crypt Keeper at 14 led me to watch Oz on HBO (and its a miracle I am not mentally deranged)?

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Loved this show as a kid and now. It’s certainly got its fair share of clunkers, but there were some great eps. Ones I was always partial to include “And All Through the House,” “Cutting Cards” with Lance Henriksen and Kevin Tighe, and “The Ventriloquist’s Dummy” with Bobcat Goldwaith and Don Rickles. But I could name favorite eps from each season all day, no doubt.

The best thing about this show often was the actors they got to appear in each episode. While few, for me, could top Curry’s crazyness in “Death of Some Salesman” I think my favorite cast just might be “The New Arrival” with David Warner, Zelda Rubenstein, Twiggy, and a goofy little cameo by Robert Patrick (his scene essentially ends right during the credt for "And Special Appearance by Robert Patrick"Wink

I think it’s also important to note the cultural impact this show had in spawning not one, but two children’s tv shows. The Tales from the Cryptkeeper cartoon and the Secrets of the Cryptkeeper’s Haunted House game show.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfan View Post Also i will always defend Demon Night which I love. Bordello of Blood not so much but I love Demon Night.

Completely agree. I was watching Demon Knight just last Monday. Love it. Some top quality Zane, there.

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There was a great episode involving Demi Moore marrying Vincent Schiavelli because a gypsy told her he was going to come into a lot of money, which was, I believe, based on a John Collier story (horror comic writers seem to have loved ripping off Collier–even the original “Little Shop of Horrors” was clearly based on Collier’s "Green Thoughts"Wink. And another episode featuring (and, I think, directed by) Michael J. Fox involving a man trying to fake his death and having it backfire on him. Both were among the best episodes and got me hooked on the show–I was always a little disappointed that so few episodes had the same tongue-in-cheek attitude as those two.

It seems like, when the show first launched, it was trying hard to be a gritty, noir-tinted horror show like some of HBO’s prior anthology shows–I remember they had one called “The Hitcher” which seemed similar to the early TFTC episodes. As TFTC went on, it became more its own thing, developed a better sense of humour and higher production values, and started featuring big celebrity cameos. I liked that version better.

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The first episode is gritty, but definitely has a sense of humor. The second episode is a highly-stylized Black Christmas retread that makes no real attempts at “gritty”. The third is even more stylized and strange, with an even better sense of humor. I’ve only seen the first two seasons, so maybe the tone gets even more comic later on, but as far as I can tell they abandon any attempts at gritty early on in the first season.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prankster View Post There was a great episode involving Demi Moore marrying Vincent Schiavelli because a gypsy told her he was going to come into a lot of money, which was, I believe, based on a John Collier story (horror comic writers seem to have loved ripping off Collier–even the original “Little Shop of Horrors” was clearly based on Collier’s "Green Thoughts"Wink.

That is another good episode called Dead Right. However, the guy Moore marries is actually Jeffrey Tambor in a fat suit and makeup.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post The first episode is gritty, but definitely has a sense of humor. The second episode is a highly-stylized Black Christmas retread that makes no real attempts at “gritty”. The third is even more stylized and strange, with an even better sense of humor. I’ve only seen the first two seasons, so maybe the tone gets even more comic later on, but as far as I can tell they abandon any attempts at gritty early on in the first season.

They didn’t do too many truly gritty ones. The weird David Morse western one comes to mind. Maybe that Brad Pitt vs Raymond J Berry one, although I can imagine that being pretty goofy on revisiting. The Steve Buscemi Roger Daltry one is maybe gruesome enough to kind of smack the funny away.

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I remember watching the Black Christmas like episode when I was very young. it was great and got me into the show, but even at that young age I never thought it was gritty at any point. Macabre, gruesome, and highly stylized among many other things but never gritty.

I think I watched it right before i went to bed and it freaked me out a little.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post They didn’t do too many truly gritty ones. The weird David Morse western one comes to mind. Maybe that Brad Pitt vs Raymond J Berry one, although I can imagine that being pretty goofy on revisiting.

The reason these two were so different is because they weren’t intended as episodes of Tales. They were for a FOX pilot to a Tales spin-off called Two-Fisted Tales (also an EC comic) which would be more pulp-action than horror. Instead of the Crypt Keeper the stories were introduced by a crazed gunslinger played by Bill Sadler. FOX aired it once and that was that. So they wound up just reairing them as episodes of Tales from the Crypt.

Would love to see those Bill Sadler segments again.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post The reason these two were so different is because they weren’t intended as episodes of Tales. They were for a FOX pilot to a Tales spin-off called Two-Fisted Tales (also an EC comic) which would be more pulp-action than horror. Instead of the Crypt Keeper the stories were introduced by a crazed gunslinger played by Bill Sadler. FOX aired it once and that was that. So they wound up just reairing them as episodes of Tales from the Crypt. Would love to see those Bill Sadler segments again.

Holy great! Ah, what might have been.

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I can still recall my brother and I hanging out one night when FOX ran the promo just before it aired. The voice-over guy proclaiming “From the people who brought you LETHAL WEAPON, DIE HARD, and 48 HOURS…”

We though we hit the motherload. But it was one and done.