Good Wish - Bad Wish

del_griffith · December 6, 2003, 6:46pm

Ok, this is how this game works.

I wish for something good. Then you reply that my wish is granted but in a bad way. Here’s an example:

My post:

I wish my loud neighbors would move away.

Your post:

Wish granted!! But a tribe of hillbillies move in and the two big ones constantly say, “You sure gotta purty mouth.”

I wish my girlfriend would say yes, when I ask her to get married.

I wish…

You get the picture?

I’ll start off:

I wish I had better hearing.

richard_dickson · December 6, 2003, 8:17pm

Your wish is granted, and the snores of a billion Chinese drive you to madness.

I wish I had a million dollars.

dan_whitehead · December 6, 2003, 10:13pm

Your wish is granted. On Pay-Per-View at http://www.skeletal-rich-sluts.com.

I wish The Scarecrow & Mrs King was back on TV.

gruber · December 6, 2003, 10:32pm

Your wish is granted. However, 2 weeks after the premiere, Remington Steel returns to the airwaves and pre-empts the show, permanently.

I wish I could fly!

del_griffith · December 6, 2003, 10:59pm

Your wish has been granted! You start to fly, but you reach 35,000 ft and your arms start to get tired. You plumment to the ground and make an impact crater the size of Texas.

I wish it would stop snowing out

gruber · December 6, 2003, 11:03pm

Your wish has been granted! However, the snow may be gone, but suddenly it starts raining pieces of Rue McClanahan all over the planet.

I wish I owned a tank.

mrmushnik · December 6, 2003, 11:15pm

Your wish is granted! But alas, your tank is made out of waferboard, PVC piping, and cable ties and it is soon smashed and dismantled by a roving gang of 5 year old toughs who proudly bear away the scraps and use them to make a fort and a half pipe.

I wish I had some magic beans…

del_griffith · December 6, 2003, 11:19pm

Wish granted! But you put your magic beans in a bowl of chili, eat it and when you’er done, your farts smell like roses and a huge alien satellite comes out of you butt, signals the alien fleet and they start to attack. The world ends. All because of your magic beans.

I wish I didn’t have surgery on Monday.

gereson_s · December 7, 2003, 8:29am

Wish granted! However, your problems multiply by day and by the time you undress for bed next weekend your insides have melted and are oozing from every orifice. You decide to take your wish back, but you’re dead.

I wish I never went to private school for freshman/ sophomore year.

lionel_horsepackage · December 7, 2003, 9:26am

Wish granted! Instead, you are whisked away to the Hogwarts school of magic to begin your high school years. However, time changes people, as does fame. The innocent, wide-eyed boy known as Harry Potter has transformed into the preppy douche bag known as Harry Potter who doesn’t appreciate a new little shit trying to upstage him. By the end of the semester, you’re found lying naked in the girls locker room, violated by a “re-called” broomstick.

I wish for a Evil Dead/Ghostbusters/Fight Club crossover.

geech_mcfeely · December 7, 2003, 9:47am

Wish granted, however anyone who ever saw the originals of all those movies quickly makes a plan and effectively assassinates you.

I wish football was year-round.

geech_mcfeely · December 7, 2003, 9:50am

Wish granted! However anyone who saw the original Ghostbusters, Evil Dead films, or Fight Club quickly assassinates you and then proceed to deficate on your grave.

I wish I could sleep with Britney Spears.

imported_t_m · December 7, 2003, 10:30am

Your wish is my command! Unfortunately, like all trained animals, they eventually “break free” of your power and turn on you. Your limbs are yummy to them, if it bit light in fat.

I wish for a piece of yo’ sah-weet ass.

geech_mcfeely · December 7, 2003, 10:37am

Wish granted! Your piece of my ass/asshair will be there in 6-8 weeks.

I wish I had $96,000 in unmarked bills.

tim_k · December 7, 2003, 11:06am

Woodward did you change what you wished for? Didn’t you originally want unlimited wishes? Oh well I’ll reply to both wishes.

Your wish is granted but in order to use one, You have to handwrite a 10,000 word essay in triplicate detailing every possible use you will put the wish to. And then it will have be put through the US Patent office to make sure that there has never been another wish like it before. Sadly they will decline it if any spelling or grammar errors are present.

Han will shoot first, but he misses his target.

I wish for a pay raise.

geech_mcfeely · December 7, 2003, 11:09am

Wish granted! But when the company goes down for tax fraud your name is on the top of the list.

I wish for more nude beaches.

kid_ego · December 7, 2003, 11:22am

Wish granted, but they are only populated by 65 year-old, 340 lb naked men with stage-3 skin cancer.

I wish people would love and respect each other.

hbarr · December 7, 2003, 11:55am

Wish granted, but people will only love and respect the living dead. The world is overrun by zombies. You and everyone you love are dead.

I wish that Alien 3 had been directed by Ridley Scott.

kid_ego · December 7, 2003, 11:58am

Wish granted, but he places Bill Bellamy and Jamie Foxx in the lead roles, and adds a hip-hop soundtrack to it.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

hbarr · December 7, 2003, 12:03pm

Wish granted, but the motorcycle can only go 1 mile per day.

Now for a noble wish…I wish for a cure for all diseases.