Favorite unnamed/one-shot Simpson character quote thread

Malibu Stacey assembly line worker: “Aw crap. THERE’S A CLOG IN THE TORSO CHUTE! LEROY! Get yer ass in gear!”
Leroy: “Shut yer hole!”

Helicopter pilot: “We are now beginning our approach to Itchy and Scratchy Land, the theme park of the future where nothing can possiblie go wrong. *silence* Uh, possibLEE go wrong! Heh, that’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.”

Panicky man: “Oh my God! The PTA is disbanding! AGGHH GAAAH!!” *jumps out window*
Flanders: “No, no! The PTA is not disbanding!”
Panicky man: “Yeeeeaaghh!” *jumps back in window*

Unidentified man caught on drawbridge waiting in line for the Itchy and Scratchy movie: “I regret nothiiiiiiiiing!!!”

Kid traumatised by Homer-as-Krusty’s beating of the Krusty Burger burglar: “Stop it! Stop it! He’s already dead!”

“My player piano!”

Shelbyville “Homer”: “Get out here boy! There’s a doin’s a transpirin’!”

FBI guy: “The only thing we’ve managed to ascertain from satellite photos is that its not on the roof.”

Member of Australian parliament: “That’s a bloody outrage it is! I’m going straight to the Prime Minister! Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! ANDY!”
Australian Prime Minister: “Oy, mate! What’s the good word?”

Australian squeaky-voiced teen: “Bullfrogs! That’s a right odd name! I would have called 'em Chuzzwazzas!”

“…and like most people, yeah, I’ve dealt a little ivory”
-Blackheart the Ivory Dealer

“Find your soulmate, Homer.”
“Where? Where?”
“I’m just your memory. I can’t give you any new information.”
-Homer’s Spirit Guide

“Stacy, please, I must have you back. Just come for a ride with me in my Mobile Command Unit.”
“Joe, I told you, it’s over. Release me from your Kung-Fu grip.”
"Fine. I’ll bomb your house into the ground, Missy. "
-Stacy LaVelle and ex-husband Joe

“Alright Dr. Colossus, you’re free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.”
“Aaawww. But all my stuff’s there.”
-Wiggum and Dr Colossus

The Australian bar-keeper…

“I want a coffee”

“One beer…”

“No, coffee. Coff-ee.”

“Bee-eer?”

“C-O…”

“B-E..”

And of course,

“That’s not a knife, that’s a knife!”

“No, that’s a spoon.”

“Ah, I see you’ve played knifey spoony before!”

Another fave, that dude that sounds like Chuck Bronson.

Seeing overweight (300lbs+) Homer at the cinema: “Hey Fatty, I got a film for ya. A Fridge Too Far”

Wait, I forgot my all time favourite…

John Coffey (to Homer on death row): Gimme yer hands, boss. COS I’M I’M GONNA KILL YOU! I KILLED A MILLION PEOPLE, I KILL YOU TOO!

(gets dragged off and turns back to his cell. He is holding a mouse in his hands.)

John Coffey: You want some corn bread, Mr Jingles? Well you can forget it, cos I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

When Phish played Homer’s Festival to legalize medical marijuana -

Phish Guy (I don’t know their names): “Hey I smell marijuana…THAT BETTER BE MEDICINAL!”

And that couple when Homer and Marge go to the Wedding Retreat at Catfish Lake -
“Queen of the Harpies…QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!”

Guy Homer encounters at a swanky restaurant:

“I had a stroooooke!”

Springfield Isotopes announcer:

“The Isotopes win a game! The Isotopes win a game!”

Guy who looks like John Travolta:

“Yeah, looks like.”

Quote:

Originally Posted by sackley The Australian bar-keeper… Another fave, that dude that sounds like Chuck Bronson. Seeing overweight (300lbs+) Homer at the cinema: “Hey Fatty, I got a film for ya. A Fridge Too Far”

random Bronson voiced guy is so great.

“so you don’t like antique bikes, eh?”

“youstoleMONEYFROMTHECHURCHCOLLECTIONplate!”

but the winner is and always shall be Beekeeper 2:

Beekeeper 1: “it sure is quiet today.”

Beekeeper 2: “YES, A LITTLE too quiet… if you know what I mean.”

Beekeeper 1: “I’m afraid I don’t.”

Beekeeper 2: “YOU SEE… bees usually make A LOT of noise. NO NOISE suggests… no bees.”

Beekeeper 1: “oh look, there goes one now!”

Beekeeper 2: “TO THE BEEMOBILE!”

Beekeeper 1: “you mean your Chevy?”

[PATENTED SIMPSONS PAUSE]

Beekeeper 2 (staring at the ground, defeated): “Yes.”

then there’s guy sitting next to Nimoy:

“the Cosmic Ballet… goes on.”

“anyone wanna switch seats?”

Don’t forget the old Englishman stealing sugar in the same ep:

“I nicked it. And I’d do it again”

Guy who gives Homer vocabulary builder audio tapes instead of ones for weight loss:

“Here ya go fatso!”

Monorail operator 1: “I’ve got it! We can just shut off the power!”
Monorail operator 2: “No such luck! It’s solar powered!”
Monorail operator 1: “Solar power! When will people learn?!”

Brockman: “Doctor, without knowing EXACTLY what the problem is, would you say it would be time for our viewers to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside?”
Doctor: “Yes I would, Kent.”

Marge: “Is it true we should wait an hour after eating before we go swimming?”
Pool salesmen: “Look lady, I’ll be honest with ya, this ain’t what I do for a living. I play keyboards.”

Marge: “Bart, are all these children your friends?”
Bart: “Friends and well-wishers, yes.”
*kids pass by a child who is not Bart*
Kid #1: “Hi Bart!”
Kid #2: “How’s it goin’ Bart?”
Kid #3: “Hey Bart!”
Kid #4 (to Marge): “Hello Mrs. Cumberdale.”

Jimmy Stewart-esque man: “Oh no! That sinister lookin’ kid is comin’ to kill me! Help! HELP! Whoa!” *falls over*

NASA Chimp: “No, I don’t think we’ll be telling them that.”

Homer - “We made it. Branson, Missouri.”
Local - “Hey, pally, this is Bronson, Missouri”.
Kid - “Hey ma, how 'bout some cookies?”
Mom - “No dice.”
Kid - “This…ain’t over.”

Hank: “Gentlemen, this is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, and to prove I’m not bluffing, watch this!”
*off screen explosion*
U.N. Ambassador #1: “Good God, the 59th street bridge!”
U.N. Ambassador #2: “Maybe it just collapsed on its own.”
U.N. Ambassador #1: “We can’t take that chance.”
U.N. Ambassador #2: “You always say that. I want to take a chance!”

Homer: “Hey buddy! Did you get a load of the NERD?”
Anonymous jock: “Pardon me?”

Marge: “I’m sorry Mr. Blackbeard, this is all we have left.” *handing him Maggie’s high-chair*
Blackbeard: “DARR! This chair be high, says I!”